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Community Based Story! :)

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Halo Wrexx | 2588 Legendary Member

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Don waved his hand in the air. A car that appeared to look like a Fanex(Luxury Flying Car) came to him and the trio.
"There is noway.... IS THAT YOUR CAR?!" Tetrineze shreeked with glee.
"What's the big deal?" Carlinx said as both Jaysen and Tetrineze fell to there knees.
"Are you kidding me Carelinx?! This is a Fanex! It's the worlds most luxurious car!" Jaysen said astonished.
"Yes.... Yes it is," Don stuttered out. He appeared drunk. "Get in." The trio hopped into the car and flew off.



on Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:13 pm

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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Halo Wrexx wrote:Don waved his hand in the air. A car that appeared to look like a Fanex(Luxury Flying Car) came to him and the trio.
"There is noway.... IS THAT YOUR CAR?!" Tetrineze shreeked with glee.
"What's the big deal?" Carlinx said as both Jaysen and Tetrineze fell to there knees.
"Are you kidding me Carelinx?! This is a Fanex! It's the worlds most luxurious car!" Jaysen said astonished.
"Yes.... Yes it is," Don stuttered out. He appeared drunk. "Get in." The trio hopped into the car and flew off.
...I..I think we've just been trolled.



on Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:20 pm



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Halo Wrexx | 2588 Legendary Member

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1st LT Knadan wrote:
Halo Wrexx wrote:Don waved his hand in the air. A car that appeared to look like a Fanex(Luxury Flying Car) came to him and the trio.
"There is noway.... IS THAT YOUR CAR?!" Tetrineze shreeked with glee.
"What's the big deal?" Carlinx said as both Jaysen and Tetrineze fell to there knees.
"Are you kidding me Carelinx?! This is a Fanex! It's the worlds most luxurious car!" Jaysen said astonished.
"Yes.... Yes it is," Don stuttered out. He appeared drunk. "Get in." The trio hopped into the car and flew off.
...I..I think we've just been trolled.

(Nobody eversaid there couldn't be cars Knadan.Plus it takes place in a western sort of enviroment? Why not have cars? Why no guns? WOuldn't it be an awesome mix? Guns, magic, and cars. Sounds awesome tome Smile)



on Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:45 am

Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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Halo Wrexx wrote:
Halo Wrexx wrote:Don waved his hand in the air. A car that appeared to look like a Fanex(Luxury Flying Car) came to him and the trio.
"There is noway.... IS THAT YOUR CAR?!" Tetrineze shreeked with glee.
"What's the big deal?" Carlinx said as both Jaysen and Tetrineze fell to there knees.
"Are you kidding me Carelinx?! This is a Fanex! It's the worlds most luxurious car!" Jaysen said astonished.
"Yes.... Yes it is," Don stuttered out. He appeared drunk. "Get in." The trio hopped into the car and flew off.

(Nobody eversaid there couldn't be cars Knadan.Plus it takes place in a western sort of enviroment? Why not have cars? Why no guns? WOuldn't it be an awesome mix? Guns, magic, and cars. Sounds awesome tome Smile)

(But it says that it's a flying car... and there weren't the technological advances for cars. I also think it might be a troll post because it is such a drastic swing in plot and the characters are acting completely different than they had been up until now)



on Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:00 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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PandorasBox12 wrote:
Halo Wrexx wrote:

(Nobody eversaid there couldn't be cars Knadan.Plus it takes place in a western sort of enviroment? Why not have cars? Why no guns? WOuldn't it be an awesome mix? Guns, magic, and cars. Sounds awesome tome Smile)
(But it says that it's a flying car... and there weren't the technological advances for cars. I also think it might be a troll post because it is such a drastic swing in plot and the characters are acting completely different than they had been up until now)
(Exactly. Something like a Model T Ford I could understand, but the Delorian from Back to the Future is completely out of place. And on top of this, as Pandora mentioned, you've got them acting completely Out of Character.
So yeah, that's a troll post to my eyes. I can't speak for Pandora, but I ain't working off that post.)



on Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:14 am



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Mad Mike | 4067 Gwendolyn's Minion

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1st LT Knadan wrote:
PandorasBox12 wrote:
(But it says that it's a flying car... and there weren't the technological advances for cars. I also think it might be a troll post because it is such a drastic swing in plot and the characters are acting completely different than they had been up until now)
(Exactly. Something like a Model T Ford I could understand, but the Delorian from Back to the Future is completely out of place. And on top of this, as Pandora mentioned, you've got them acting completely Out of Character.
So yeah, that's a troll post to my eyes. I can't speak for Pandora, but I ain't working off that post.)

I would MAYBE understand if the car was somekind of prototype technology from Helios, since they are more technologically advanced. But yeah, a flying car is still way too much I agree.



on Wed Mar 13, 2013 4:31 pm

Kevow of Rice | 3750 Enshrined Member

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ALIENS



Last edited by kevow on Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:03 am; edited 1 time in total


on Wed Mar 13, 2013 7:47 pm

Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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Everyone thought Don was a strange man as they rode towards their destination. He looked slightly familiar to Carelinx but she couldn't remember him. The ride was mostly quiet and few conversations came up. Even fewer with Don, not because he was a quiet man in any way, but because he seemed weird and the conversations he started usually turned into crude tales of his conquests. Mostly his conquests of the female type.

The journey was quite long and the party had set up camp near a rock formation along the plain. It would take another day to reach their destination so they figured they'd get to know each other around the campfire before going to sleep.


Notes:
(I disregarded the troll posts and moved the story ahead. I also added a wee bit to Don's character and I left the story wide open for character development/interaction.)



on Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:21 am

Halo Wrexx | 2588 Legendary Member

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Sorry about the post guys. I just wanted to add a cool car that actually was from Helios. I didn't mean to be a trol. I apologize



on Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:55 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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Halo Wrexx wrote:Sorry about the post guys. I just wanted to add a cool car that actually was from Helios. I didn't mean to be a trol. I apologize
(Apology accepted, but next time you try and throw in something out of left field, please make it a bit more plausible.)



on Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:30 pm



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Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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As they talked, Jaysen taught Tetrineze to cook a simple dish, known as Ruble, that was a staple of Kabraxian Marines, known for it's dual simplicity and nutrition. While the food cooked, Jaysen asked the Tetineze and Carelinx an unexpected question, "Either of you know how to shoot?"
The two glanced at each, and shook their heads no.
"Figures, gonna have to fix that then...but not now, I don't have the ammo to spare if we're going up against the Dark Lord. But take these."
He pulled from his saddle bags a pair of double barreled .45 caliber derringers, giving one to each of them.
This task done, he sat back down to to keep an eye on the food, and to sharpen his cutlass before cleaning his rifle, revolver, and shotgun. He listened to the others talk, keeping out of the conversation for now.


(There, I've armed them slightly better, added some food, and still left it open for someone to write a conversation. As for the cutlass, I figured it would be more fitting for a Marine then a regular sword would be.)



on Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:50 pm



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Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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Carelinx and Tetrineze held the Derringerss in their hands with a slight awe. Firearms were rare in Tarynox due to their price and availability of ammunition. For Carelinx, the buzz wore off. She didn't feel the need for the firearm since she uses magic and the weapon felt clunky. She respectfully put it in her bag doubting she'd every use it. But Tetrineze, on the other hand, looked like a small child that just received a new toy before he carefully stowed it away in his bag. As their conversation picked up Jaysen began to stir the pot of Ruble; it was a pot of viscous liquid with vegetables in it. The broth was a thick mixture of flour and water to provide a large amount of calories. It had dark green vegetables in it to provide the nutritional value soldiers needed. It was the perfect soldiers food but the flavor left something to be desired, to say the least. Jaysen kept his ear open as Don returned with more firewood and started conversing with Carelinx and Tetrineze.

"Hey, wanna see my toy? I got it earlier this month"

Tetrineze, trying to be friendly with this strange man, optimistically responded,
"Sure"

But Carelinx couldn't care less about his damn "toy." And Jaysen seemed unamused Then Don drew a circle with a star located within in the dirt. Next he wrote symbols along the outside of the circle and began to chant something inaudibly. Carelinx immediately knew what he was doing,
"A summoning?!"

Was all she could say before a flash of light blinded the party temprorarily.


Notes:
(Added image to the food, should've added image to the campsite but oh well. I don't really know what to make them say in conversation so I left it open. Also made Carelinx dislike the firearm because she's a proud mage and sees no use in such a tool but in contrast I made Tetrineze very curious/enveloped.)



Last edited by PandorasBox12 on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:58 pm; edited 3 times in total


on Fri Mar 15, 2013 2:54 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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(Please note, I said "double barrel derringers", not revolvers, there is a difference. Derringers, look more like this picture, just maybe a tad bigger since we're talking .45 caliber.)



on Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:21 am



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Kevow of Rice | 3750 Enshrined Member

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"This here is my type 12 Mana crystal powered 'car' a gift from Project Hendrick Calios in Helios research center. I am still the Research co-overseer and that's how I got my hands on one of these." Don said coughing like an old man with a pipe in his mouth.
"Interesting... So where did this design come from?" Tetrenize asked.
"Old Ruins of Lamonsarah. The material in the mines are more sturdier then most metals. Of course it took a decade just to mold the material into this fashioned lions head in the front."
Carlinex walked up to the vehical and examined it.



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:33 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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kevow wrote:
"This here is my type 12 Mana crystal powered 'car' a gift from Project Hendrick Calios in Helios research center. I am still the Research co-overseer and that's how I got my hands on one of these." Don said coughing like an old man with a pipe in his mouth.
"Interesting... So where did this design come from?" Tetrenize asked.
"Old Ruins of Lamonsarah. The material in the mines are more sturdier then most metals. Of course it took a decade just to mold the material into this fashioned lions head in the front."
Carlinex walked up to the vehical and examined it.
? (quirks eyebrow)



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:34 am



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Halo Wrexx | 2588 Legendary Member

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"What does it do?"Carelinx asked. She was intrigued by the very shape of the craft.
"Oh. You must not be from here. You see, ever since the we changed to a monarchy, the king has insisted upon creating a new breed of technology. The kind that would put us common folk on the same ground as some mages. The first working result is this. It's called a car as I said before. It provides new means of transportation. This machine has got the power of over 100 horses underneath the hood," Don explained. Tetrineze and Jaysen seemed quite interested as well.
"How does it work?" Jaysen asked intrigued.
"First you take a key," Don says, hopping in the car. "Then you put it in this here socket. Next thing you know the cars turn on. From there you can put your foot on this pedal. That will make it go. Turning this weel will make it turn, and hitting this pedal will make it stop," Don said, couphing at every space. The trio seemed to have understood the purpose and how to use the machine. "You say it runs on crystal, right?" Tetrineze asks Don. Don replies with a yes and Tetrineze begins to frown. "Crystal is the most precious element out here! How are we supposed to pay for this fuel!" Tetrineze exclaimed, outraged.


(I went along with what kevow had said. I believe that he introduced the vehicle well. I tried to elaborate more. I encourage you to build off of our posts, but obviously you don't have to. I would also like to say the design of the car is similar to the Model T Ford. Once again I encourage you to build off of these posts, but if you don't agree with cars in the story I understand.

P.S. the cars CANNOT fly)



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:12 am

Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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1st LT Knadan wrote:
kevow wrote:
"This here is my type 12 Mana crystal powered 'car' a gift from Project Hendrick Calios in Helios research center. I am still the Research co-overseer and that's how I got my hands on one of these." Don said coughing like an old man with a pipe in his mouth.
"Interesting... So where did this design come from?" Tetrenize asked.
"Old Ruins of Lamonsarah. The material in the mines are more sturdier then most metals. Of course it took a decade just to mold the material into this fashioned lions head in the front."
Carlinex walked up to the vehical and examined it.
? (quirks eyebrow)

(I'll rewrite my posts so that it appears that they either had the car earlier or I'll make it flow better from my post to his)



Last edited by PandorasBox12 on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:21 am; edited 2 times in total


on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:14 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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PandorasBox12 wrote:
1st LT Knadan wrote:
? (quirks eyebrow)

(I'll rewrite my posts so that it appears that they either had the car earlier or I'll make it flow better from my post to his)
(You're welcome to try, although I'm still not sure how I feel about it...)



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:20 am



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Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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1st LT Knadan wrote:
PandorasBox12 wrote:

(I'll rewrite my posts so that it appears that they either had the car earlier or I'll make it flow better from my post to his)
(You're welcome to try, although I'm still not sure how I feel about it...)


Note:
(okay, so I can't really think of anything to add to my previous post so that it flows better. It's hard because the car seemingly appears out of no wheres because the characters would've taken notice sooner if they left in it and Don was with them during the journey so he couldn't have met up with them at the campsite with the car... Suggestions please)



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:21 am

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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PandorasBox12 wrote:Note:
(okay, so I can't really think of anything to add to my previous post so that it flows better. It's hard because the car seemingly appears out of no wheres because the characters would've taken notice sooner if they left in it and Don was with them during the journey so he couldn't have met up with them at the campsite with the car... Suggestions please)

(Here's my suggestion:
Halo Wrexx wrote:(I encourage you to build off of our posts, but obviously you don't have to.)

Either that or have it airdropped magic'd in.)



on Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:28 am

Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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1st LT Knadan wrote:(Here's my suggestion:
Halo Wrexx wrote:(I encourage you to build off of our posts, but obviously you don't have to.)

Either that or have it airdropped magic'd in.)

(Ehhh, but I don't want to dismiss their posts. It'd make me feel like I was trying to take over the story, but I truly want a community co-written story. I just feel the transition/story is choppy now. But with some slight fixes on both parts this could easily be fixed.)



on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:37 pm

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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PandorasBox12 wrote:
1st LT Knadan wrote:
Either that or have it airdropped magic'd in.)

(Ehhh, but I don't want to dismiss their posts. It'd make me feel like I was trying to take over the story, but I truly want a community co-written story. I just feel the transition/story is choppy now. But with some slight fixes on both parts this could easily be fixed.)
(Then have Don magic it in or something.)



on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:42 pm



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Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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1st LT Knadan wrote:(Then have Don magic it in or something.)

(Okay, I thought of a way to edit my post so that it will flow better, I hope)



on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:49 pm

Knadan | 4060 Community Commissar

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PandorasBox12 wrote:
1st LT Knadan wrote:(Then have Don magic it in or something.)

(Okay, I thought of a way to edit my post so that it will flow better, I hope)
(Fingers crossed.)



on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:50 pm



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Pandora's Box | 4308 Grammatical Wizard

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1st LT Knadan wrote:(Fingers crossed.)

(Done, let me know what you think)



on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:58 pm

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