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Karl Blaine | 4322 Gwendolyn's Minion

Here is a funny poem based off of the "Night before Christmas" Poem. Enjoy!

Twas the night before Covmas and all through the house,
Not creature was sleeping, not even a dead mouse.
Their guns were slung on their backs with the utmost of care,
In the hopes that the Covenant would not ever be their.

The UNSC where all there partying with their beer and booze,
When suddenly a Spartan heard a noise in the chimney flue.
With agility and speed inhuman to most,
He quickly stuck his gun up the chimney's rump roast.
He fired off several dozen rounds up the chimney,
When he felt sometime suddenly punch him in his kidney.
The Spartan keeled over with his gut,
Only to look up to see a Elite waring a red hut.
Atop the elites head the red hut sat,
It was actually reincarnation of Saint Nicholas's hat.

"You know you should be careful with those things" the Elite exclaimed,
As he stepped out of the bright red flames.
He pointed to the Spartans gun with disgust,
But then he said "hush hush".
"As for it is Covmas and caring is important" He said,
As he showed off his clothes that also happened to be bright red.

The Elite walked into the room with loads of joy,
As he had brought a sack full of new toys for all the Girls and Boys.
But the UNSC had over intentions for the lone Elite,
As they began beat him and then took his bruised body into the street,
Where they bickered and thought and decided to call in their fleet.

Once done, the two sides battled and fought,
Hoping to use the weapon they had recently bought.
They fired their MACs and Plasma with accuracy and precision,
Hoping to destroy each others delusional visions.

For many hours there was conflict and war,
When suddenly the lone Elite looked up with face full of horror,
To realize what had he done, and suddenly remembered what he had in store.

"I only wanted to give you all presents" He said,
As he laid their in the street all beaten and bled.

The Elite pulled out a new human weapon for all of them to see,
Suddenly ending the mass killing spree.

Down fell a groups of ODST Pods from the birds above,
And when the pods hit the ground, the ODSTs began to push and shove.

"Here here, Please do not worry, I have plenty for all,
So let us all go to the Pillar of Autumns mess hall"

And so they all went aboard the massive ship,
giddy to go and properly equip.

So in the end, war became a very distant memory,
That has been held against the alien enemy.
With the end of this interesting story,
Could it have been possible less gory?

We may never know that fact,
Because the writer was just now hacked.

on Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:51 am

001 Contrite Mediation | 5212 The Floaty Green Dude

That was actually pretty funny, well done!

on Wed Dec 26, 2012 5:20 am

Mad Mike | 5031 Gwendolyn's Minion

Never heard the original story, but still very funny Smile

on Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:00 pm

camycamera | 5158 Legendary Member

lol that was AWESIM

on Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:38 pm

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